Friends Rough Draft, Part 1.

I know that none of you ever read this, partly because I have never shared this with you, but just so it is out there, here it is. Also, this is a first draft/rough draft I wrote a while ago. I just don't feel that it is perfect enough to fully share with everyone.

This is something I have wanted to say to everyone and have tried to write it many times before but each time it just didn't sound right, or maybe perfect enough for me to share with you all. Now that summer is beginning with friends staying near and going afar, I find myself wanting to write this more than ever.

Moving to the eighth floor of Marlton in my second semester of my freshman year is probably the best decision of my life.

No joke.

If I never moved to room 807, I would never know Miss Hannah Kuo, or at least know her like I know her now.

If it were not for Hannah, I would not know any of you.

When I came back to New York for the second semester of this past year, I knew that something had changed over the break and that I needed a change in my life. Going out to clubs every night wasn't cutting it for me anymore. In fact, the night after I had returned to this city, I went out and had one of the worst times I had ever had at a club, despite the people I was there to see and/or dance to. I was tired of not being myself and making false friends, a kiss here and there with a "how are you," knowing that either side didn't really care. I dreaded school and this lifestyle, or at least the thought that I would relive it each and every week. Not that I didn't have fun with the friends I went with--I did and I do still love them all dearly--but I was no longer fazed by it all.

Then came Hannah's party.

Because of my antics of the first semester and my obsession with going out, I never attended any of Hannah's earlier parties. Feeling the guilt of never previously going and realizing that I was not the best person for attempting to go to any in addition to wanting to see friends after the long break, I decided to go.

That was one of the second best decisions I have made.

At the party, I didn't exactly meet all of you (I was being incredibly anti-social and shy) but I got to know of you. And some of you might have been able to know of me. The following weeks were filled with more and more parties where I got to know a few more of you and those I had already known, much better than I previously had. I even rekindled a friendship that had suffered from my obsession and realized that the person was one of the best friends I could ever have, despite our tiffs or arguments or differences in opinions or moods. And even now, I consider that person to be a very near and dear friend although she might not agree with that.

As each of us packs up to return home, or even those that are only going away for a short while to go where ever it is that we are going to, I can't help but feel sad and (shock, I SWEAR I am showing real emotion, not crying on cue) welt up writing this:

I have met some of the most genuine, kind and caring individuals I will ever meet. I can't help but think that I am so lucky to have people like you in my life everyday. Never have I had friends that genuinely cared about how I felt or were so open and honest each other so that there would be no talking about someone behind his or her back...or friends that are crazy enough to send cameras around the world to document our summers. Or friends that would even fathom trying to stay in touch and that close knit over a period of time or friends that would take care if me if I had a little too much to drink or people that I feel like I could really be my true self with, and not give a damn about what anyone thinks of it.

This sounds so sappy and whatever, but it's true and I just thought you all should know. I could write a lot more but I just don't know how to exactly articulate it at this very second.